Dear customers -
No, you can't have a children's size hot chocolate. I know you're at that delicate age where you want Mommy and Daddy to treat you like an adult, but you're still a child. However, in this particular scenario, you do not qualify as a child. You drove here. I saw you. I'm guessing that's Mommy's Lexus. In case you can't read - put down the cell phone, little girl - the menu board clearly says "12 and under". If you're old enough to give a blowjob, you're too fucking old for a children's hot chocolate. There's a fun idea for you - just don't do it in our bathroom.
And don't sit on my fucking tables. I don't know where your skanky ass has been. Two minutes ago, you were practically giving your boyfriend a lap dance in the cafe, so I'm sure I don't want to know. But it damn sure doesn't belong on my fucking tables. You wouldn't do that at home, would you? Fuck you, and fuck your parents for raising you to be spoiled brats.
Now go the fuck home. We close at 10. Don't call to ask when we close, show up at 9:58, and just hang out without buying anything. Get the fuck out of my store. Go loiter in front of the 7-11 like normal teenagers.
Signed,
The disgruntled barista who never would have behaved that way when she was your age.
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