I've had a number of different jobs over the years. I've sold everything from rubber dicks to women's shoes, and I have plenty of stories to tell about these jobs as well. Right now, I'm thinking that weekends may need to be devoted to letters to the patrons of these former places of employment. It can't hurt to change things up a little here and there.
Today, we have a letter to the customers of a craft store I worked in a number of years back. I visited one the other day, and sadly, this letter is still applicable.
Dear customers -
I can't stress enough the importance of supervising your children when you venture out into the world. They're kids. Kids have a tendency to do stupid shit. It is your job as parents to teach them not to do stupid shit, and not merely expect the employees of whatever retail establishment they happen to be terrorizing to do it for you.
What it all boils down to is this - the fake fruit we sell? Yeah. It's fake. I know it looks yummy, but it's not food. Every single night that I clean that particular section of the store, I find at least half a dozen pieces of plastic fruit sporting teeth marks. It never fails. I'd tell you to feed your damn kids before you leave the house, yet for some strange reason, I get the feeling that they don't do this at the supermarket. You've taught them not to eat things there, but not at the craft store. There's something wrong with this picture. Just because it looks like food doesn't mean that it's food. Have fun when your little bastard poops out a bunch of plastic grapes.
Signed,
Your disgruntled retail associate.
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