Dear customers -
You've all experienced the wonders of our parking lot. Yes, it's awful. We've established that. Of course, since you all know just how bad it is, taking caution is always the best course of action.
Once again, however, some of you are just too fucking old to be driving. I don't see any indication that there's actually a person operating the vehicle except for a pouf of blue hair barely peeking over the steering wheel.
If you hear another car honking while you're pulling out of your spot, you might want to stop and see if someone is behind you - not drive faster. Didn't see them? I'm not surprised.
In the likely event that you do hit another vehicle, don't just fucking drive away. That shit didn't fly when you got your license a century ago. Just because you're practically mummified doesn't change that any.
And to the old fart in the silver Toyota - I saw you hit that parked car. I was taking out the garbage. You took the time to get out and see the damage. I told you to get your sorry ass inside and find the owner, but you ignored me and took off. Yeah, you. I know who you are. I got your license plate number, clown dick.
Signed,
Your disgruntled barista - not the fucking parking lot attendant.
No comments:
Post a Comment