Dear customers -
Please stop stealing supplies from the bathroom. You're driving a Mercedes. I saw it when you almost ran me over while I was taking out the garbage. I think you can afford to purchase your own toilet paper. If not, your $20 a day coffee addiction probably has something to do with that. Having the ability to wipe your ass is slightly more important than espresso. Yeah. Just a little bit.
As for the paper toilet seat covers, I'm not sure I want to know what you need those for. Is your bathroom at home so disgusting that you require them? Maybe you should try cleaning it. Radical idea, I know. I have those once in a while.
I know who you are. I saw you and your handful of purloined toilet seat covers running for the door. No surprise, this was immediately after I found the steaming pile of shit in the hallway by the bathrooms. Now, I can't say that we've all taken a dump in public, but I can see how embarrassing it might be. However, I would greatly appreciate it if you would either make an effort to clean up after yourself, or at the very least, inform one of the staff members so we can take care of it. I'm not sure when leaving the pile of shit in the hallway for another customer to find seemed like the appropriate way to handle the situation. I can assure you that walking into one's favorite local coffee shop and stepping in human fecal matter is not a good start to the day.
Signed,
Your disgruntled barista(who is ready to procure a hazmat suit).
Oh. My. God. They shat in the hallway?????
ReplyDeleteShe sure did. Naturally, I was the one who got to clean it up. This consisted of throwing on a pair of gloves, using two pieces of cardboard to scoop it up, and running like hell out to the dumpster. While I was mopping the floor, the little old lady came out of the bathroom with a handful of paper toilet seat covers. She looked at me...looked at the floor...looked back at me...and made a run for it. I didn't think little old ladies could move that fast. Obviously, she took her sweet time getting to the toilet.
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