Dear customers -
I am all too aware of the influx of pregnant women that have been coming in as of late. When the shopping center across the street has no less than three overpriced maternity clothing boutiques, a lactation clinic, and a restaurant that for some reason serves sushi and hamburgers, that's going to happen.
There's always new studies coming out regarding pregnant women and caffeine - some say to cut it out all together; others say that it's okay in moderation. I've never been pregnant. I have no desire to get pregnant. This information is of little use to me.
However, if you are obviously pregnant, I'm more than likely going to ask if you would like your beverage decaffeinated. I don't know for sure as to whether or not you can have caffeine, and I'd rather be safe than sorry. Your response should be either "yes" or "no". Rolling your eyes and informing me that your doctor says you can have caffeine - not an appropriate response.
And yes, maybe your doctor did tell you that caffeine is okay. I'm no expert, but I'm pretty sure you weren't told that four shots of espresso every morning is they way to go. I'm sure your child is going to grow up to be an annoying little fucker, and run around my store breaking shit while you yap on your cell phone. I'm sure your caffeine intake isn't the only factor at work, but that quantity really can't be good for your unborn child. Yeah, your ass is getting decaf. You really need your coffee that badly? Maybe that should have been a consideration before you got knocked up. Hopefully, you were at least able to give up the booze. Go have fun whining about your stretch marks.
Signed,
Your disgruntled barista.
There's always new studies coming out regarding pregnant women and caffeine - some say to cut it out all together; others say that it's okay in moderation. I've never been pregnant. I have no desire to get pregnant. This information is of little use to me.
However, if you are obviously pregnant, I'm more than likely going to ask if you would like your beverage decaffeinated. I don't know for sure as to whether or not you can have caffeine, and I'd rather be safe than sorry. Your response should be either "yes" or "no". Rolling your eyes and informing me that your doctor says you can have caffeine - not an appropriate response.
And yes, maybe your doctor did tell you that caffeine is okay. I'm no expert, but I'm pretty sure you weren't told that four shots of espresso every morning is they way to go. I'm sure your child is going to grow up to be an annoying little fucker, and run around my store breaking shit while you yap on your cell phone. I'm sure your caffeine intake isn't the only factor at work, but that quantity really can't be good for your unborn child. Yeah, your ass is getting decaf. You really need your coffee that badly? Maybe that should have been a consideration before you got knocked up. Hopefully, you were at least able to give up the booze. Go have fun whining about your stretch marks.
Signed,
Your disgruntled barista.
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