Dear customers -
If you want room for milk in your coffee, please let me know. If there's something(legitimately) wrong with your beverage, bring it back to me, and I'll make you a new one. I'm not sure exactly what plane of reality you happen to live on, but by no means is pouring scalding hot coffee into a plastic garbage bag a good idea. You probably didn't think this far ahead, but if you fill the garbage bag with liquids, particularly hot ones, it's going to leak. Then, I get to clean out the garbage can. Again. I wasn't annoyed enough by the nimrod disposing of their trash when there's no bag in the can.
In addition to this, I'm more than likely going to end up covered in coffee and sour milk when I take out the garbage. You just made my day so much better. I hope you've got the Mercedes parked(probably parked like an asshole) next to the dumpster. There's a good sporting chance that bag is going to blow out while I'm attempting to hammer throw it into the dumpster - which is necessary, considering it's bloated with all the beverages that were discarded throughout the course of the morning, and probably weighs almost as much as I do. When this happens, your car is going to be covered in skanky garbage water. Don't come bitching to me. You're the one that threw the hot coffee into the plastic garbage bag. You bought it on yourself. Now you know how I feel at the end of the day. Of course, the coffee washes off. The shame...not so much.
Signed,
Your disgruntled barista.
Yes, yes...it's true. Scrub all you like, the shame will never go away.
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