This was one of my porn shop regulars. He requires his own post.
Dear Yarn Boobs -
Dude, seriously? You're a train wreck. If you want to cross dress, that's fine. You're welcome to do this if you see fit. But for fuck's sake, at least put a bit of effort into it. How do I say this...remember how Mr. Garrison from South Park got a sex change? Yeah, that's you. The resemblance is uncanny. You're a fucking cartoon character.
If you're going to go around wearing a bra stuffed with yarn, you might want to make sure the yarn is actually tucked into the bra. You're not convincing anyway, but your cups runneth over...and not in that fun, sexy way. It's just sad. That, paired with the mini skirt and the stockings...I assume you're going for thigh highs. Dude, those are surgical stockings. Not the same thing.
And while we do appreciate your business, I could do without the comments. We are all familiar with your affinity for grossly oversized butt plugs. Don't ask me if I've ever used one, and don't inform me that you have one in right now. I assume you're using one at the moment. Otherwise, I don't know if you'd be here. You might want to try shoving your head up your ass. It's about the same size as that Anal Punisher that you're buying, and it's free. I'm going to go ahead and say that it would be a perfect fit.
And please, for the love of all that's holy, after you come out of the booths, wash your hands before you start handling all the product. I don't know where your hands of been...actually, that's not true. I'm just in denial.
Signed,
Your friendly local rubber dick saleswoman.
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