Friday, January 28, 2011

Today's PSA for birth control - Bad seeds and coffee beans.

Dear customers -

No, we do not think it's cute when you allow your two-year-old to run behind the counter.  This presents a safety hazard to everyone involved, and none of us is in the mood for a lawsuit today.  We really don't think it's cute when your child begins pulling bottles out of the refrigerated case - or better yet, products from the retail display - and breaking them.  You will have to pay for the damaged items, and will probably receive a number of dirty looks while we clean up after your precious angel.  Considering that you haven't so much as looked at the little fucker since you came in 45 minutes ago, that money would have been better spent on birth control.

Signed,
Your disgruntled barista - not your fucking babysitter. 

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