Dear customers -
It's six in the morning. I can appreciate not wanting to get out of your pajamas to get a cup of coffee. Believe me, if I had my druthers, I'd still be in my pajamas sipping coffee, too. By all means, you do what you need to do.
However - gentlemen, this part pertains to you - if you plan on patronizing this establishment in your pajamas, for fuck's sake, make sure the fly of your pajama bottoms is buttoned. You're not awake yet. I get it. Neither am I, and 6:00 AM is no time for me to come to the realization that I am looking at your penis. I assure you, that even when I am sufficiently caffeinated, I won't want to see it. Hell, I could be drunk, and not want to see it. I worked in an adult bookstore. I have seen far too many dicks in my lifetime. I assure you, yours is not memorable.
Signed,
Your disgruntled barista(who is too sleep-deprived for this shit).
Stranger Penis!
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