Dear customers -
No, I don't have the phone number of the bakery next door. We're in the middle of our morning rush. We're fucking busy. I'm not going to look it up for you, nor will I go to the bakery to ask for their phone number. I don't care that your name is Saul, and your wife's name is Debbie. I don't care what temple you attend. Your life's story has no bearing on any of this. Somehow, you were able to track down our number, but not the number of the bakery. For fuck's sake, why?
No, I don't know the bus schedule. Don't call me and ask. If you need to know, New Jersey Transit has a phone number. They have a website, too. Just contact them, and leave me the fuck alone.
And yes, it's a holiday, but don't call and ask, "Are you open?" I answered the phone, didn't I? Of course we're not open. I just came in for the sole purpose of answering the phone to tell people we're not open. You can always call and ask what our hours are. You sound like less of an idiot that way.
Signed,
Your disgruntled barista.
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