Karma's a bitch, and a frigid one at that.

Dear Customers -

There's almost six inches of fresh snow outside.  If you're wearing boots with four inch stiletto heels in this weather, there's a good chance of falling in the parking lot.  Don't come whining to me because you have absolutely no fucking common sense.  It was your decision to wear impractical shoes in the fucking snow.  Like I've always said, stupidity should be painful.  We all see that you're trying to be sexy.  Good job.  Have fun being sexy in traction.

Signed,
The disgruntled barista who is currently laughing her ass off at you.

Let it snow...just keep it to yourself.

Dear Customers -

Yes, I'm well aware that it's supposed to snow.  You really don't need to keep reminding everyone.  Yes, unless the Governor declares a state of emergency, we will be open tomorrow, just like every other time it snows.  It doesn't matter how dangerous the roads may be - we know just how badly you need your lattes, and will be here to provide them.  We really don't need to hear your stories of how you braved the elements to get here.  They're all pretty much the same.  We had to do it, too, only we didn't get to go sit in the comfy chairs and drink hot chocolate and ignore the screaming children running around the cafe.  No, we get to deal with you.

Signed,
Your disgruntled(and potentially frostbitten) barista.

P.S. - Last time it snowed, when we got two and a half feet of snow and actually did close for the day, I was elected to swing by the store and post a sign saying we were closed.  In the process of posting this sign, three customers asked if we were open.  Yet, when I slipped in the parking lot that had yet to be plowed, not a single one of them said a word.  I don't ask for much from you, and I sure as hell don't get it.  If it happens again, maybe you should do the decent thing and ask if I'm okay, or better yet, offer to help me up.